Five Minute Friday: Close

I am a huge fan of Lisa Jo Baker, who blogs to encourage moms over at Lisajobaker.com. That’s it. Just to tell you about real motherhood – those days when you don’t like your kids, and the mess in the house is too much, and how real moms yell sometimes. And she gives moms a virtual hug and tells us it’s ok to be imperfect, but the point is to pick yourself up and continue to try and continue to give. Motherhood is an important mission field, and all mothers get to be a part of it.

Each week she hosts “Five Minute Friday” and the rules are simple: she provides a writing prompt and you write for five minutes flat, without editing your work. The only rule is to visit the mom in the link-up before you and offer encouragement. Today’s prompt is close. Here I go:

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Every day at nap time, I sandwich myself in between a preschooler and a newborn – it’s the only way to get my preschooler to nap while I’m home on maternity leave. My leave has been incredibly “fun” for her – she always gets her mommy.

If we watch TV (and we are doing waaaaay more of that than I’d like), she wedges her feet under my nursing pillow and grabs hold of my nearest arm and just holds on for dear life.

While we she naps, she sleeps with her arm in a chokehold around my neck.

She just wants to be close to mom.

And I love it and hate it all at the same time. I love that she wants to be near me. I hate that she feels so frantic about it. I hate that she’s going to lose the opportunity in just one week. And sometimes I just want her to give me some room so that she’s not kicking or jiggling a nursing baby.

I don’t know what we will do when maternity leave is over. I can’t afford to stay home and yet I see how much this little one craves me. It makes me feel so guilty (and exhausted) that I didn’t plan better for her. Why didn’t I know I would love being a mommy? Why did I want a career so badly?

I’m sure when maternity leave is done, she’ll be sitting in my lap while I nurse every night and I don’t know how that is going to work?! The transition may be hardest on her…

Done!

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6 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Close

  1. Oh sweet friend, I hear you…LOUD and CLEAR. I know what you mean. I laughed out loud when I read about the chokehold. Yep, I know that all. too. well. And I also want to tell you it’s going to be ok. You and they are going to be ok when you go back to work. I worked a full-time job up until this past fall and then I took the crazy plunge and quit. We are poor, but adjusting. If you want to talk more about that, send me an email…Love your words and your heart and I know what you are feeling this week. I’ll be praying God’s peace over this transition for you. Reach out to Him even when you are too tired to. He’s holding you close…xoxo, Meredith

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  2. Well no real words of wisdom here but bless your mother heart. That is so hard, and I too will add you and your little girl to my prayers this next week. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think anything adequately prepares us for the all consuming everything that the reality of motherhood is. We have to become mothers to get it. It is evident from the conflict you feel that you love your babies and they know it. Hugs to you as you transition back to work.

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