In yesterday’s post I said I was so excited about paying off our debts that it’s keeping me up nights. It’s actually all-consuming. Here’s how my day progressed yesterday:
- Wake up, pat myself on back for having a budget that kinda, sorta works.
- Realize for the 100th time that we need to find more money somewhere, somehow for necessities like food, gas, and medical issues… Oh and to put something toward debts.
- Pack diaper bag to take youngest daughter for meet-and-greet session at her daycare that she will start on Friday. Thank my lucky stars that I used cloth diapers with our oldest child and that I don’t have to buy any kind of diaper this time around.
- Coordinate with my birth center for a shot at a “very” part time job opening. I might be able to make $50 a month to put toward debt without missing out on too much at home.
- Get to daycare and find out that cloth diapers have recently been banned.
- Choke back tears.
- Realize I now have to come up with $30 extra in a budget that was already short to cover disposable diapers.
- Hope that my full-time gig will allow me to take “very” part time job, because I’m going to have to do it to cover diapers.
- Have husband remind me that my full-time gig already wants me to work unpaid overtime, which I’m resisting, and is unlikely to give permission for a part-time gig unless I’m doing that overtime, too.
- Hate my husband for being right.
- Realize I could stop packing my daughter’s lunch for preschool. Yes, I’d rather her eat my vegan fare than the carnivorous fast-food crap that is served, but I could probably save $30 a week if I didn’t have principles.
- Darn my principles.
- Negotiate with myself that she’s not really vegan, anyway. She had “dead deer” and loved it “even though it’s mommy misses it and it’s so sad”.
- Remind myself I have principles. But darn them anyway.
- Realize that I have a bonus coming my way in January if I can manage to not to tick off my employer and keep my job. It will cover one of our three small loans.
And then noon rolled around…
Indebted and In Debt 
Oh bless you, Kirsten. Yes, I’ve had those days. Those hard, crying in the schoolhouse (yep, there’s actually two posts about that) days. You can do this and because your heart is in the right place and you are seeking God, I know you WILL do this. Hoping today is better and boo on the cloth diaper ban. Just boo. Hang in there mama…you are not alone. xoxo, Meredith
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Oh, and THANK YOU for linking up with me today! I have lost two regulars and then God sends a new friend to fill the gap. Because that is what God does…He fills all. our. gaps. Blessings!
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Happy to link up (even though it feels totally weird to share my blog with anyone). Today I’m actually dropping the baby off for a few hours, testing the waters. So I hope there is no crying. Hers or mine!
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Hi Kirsten,
Hang in there. If God can handle our debt separating us from Heaven, He will come through for us in every aspect. I pray that God will bring encouragement to you today. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks, Kasey (oh geez-edited for the right name)! Wise words 🙂
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Hi Kirsten! God has you and your beautiful family. He has us all. Some days that truth is what gets me through. He’s never going to leave us nor forsake us. (I say that to myself often.) Keep doing what you’re doing! Thank you for sharing your heart!
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Trurer words never spoken… Thanks for reminding me that this was going to be one of my posts. I’ve really been feeling God’s presence – really feeling it – and I think that’s definitely worth more discussion.
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